


Goodbyes Are Underrated

by scarletladyy



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-10
Updated: 2011-01-10
Packaged: 2017-10-14 17:58:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/151945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarletladyy/pseuds/scarletladyy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ginny wasn't the only girl Harry left behind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Goodbyes Are Underrated

It was during Professor McGonagall's talk of evacuating the pupils that I noticed Harry Potter for the first time in well over a year. I completely tuned out of what she was saying, fixating my eyes on him as he ran around the Gryffindor table, hastily looking for someone or something.

It'd been so long since I'd seen him that all the anger I'd bottled up over the past year momentarily went away. The feeling was only momentary though; it all came screaming back to me as I followed his movements. I remembered how much I'd been hurt when he'd given Ginny Weasley such a long goodbye, and yet I got nothing.

It sounds strange, and nobody would believe me if I told them, but Potter and I were something of an item. A complicated, fucked up item, but still an item. I spent nights crying alone in the Slytherin common room, hating myself for what he was able to do to me, and hating him even more for buggering off without so much as a glance. He made me feel as though I wasn't important to him, and yet all those months when he was refusing to sleep with the Weasley girl, he was fucking me, telling me his relationship with her was just for show.

I don't know why he didn't say goodbye or why things ended so abruptly. It wasn't as if we'd had a fight. In fact, he hadn't even he'd told me of his plans not to return next year; I had spent the whole summer expecting things to be exactly how they had been the previous year. That was a shock when I boarded the train to find out Potter wasn't on it, and Weasley was spouting off how much Potter would miss her... that I couldn't handle. I'd flipped out and hit her; Draco had to drag me away. Nobody knew what that had been about and I wasn't planning on telling them, but at least she tried to keep away from me for the rest of the year.

There were things I overheard her say that made my day, though. I was devastated by Potter's departure, but more so that he didn't say goodbye, so to hear Weasley whine about not hearing from him... Well, at least I knew I wasn't the only one in the dark about where he was. Sometimes I even used to tune into the wireless, to see if anyone knew what he was up to.

I knew he was safe because his capture or death hadn't been splattered all over the papers, and I fought internally with myself between anger and upset. I didn't know what to feel half the time, but my default setting was anger, and everyone I knew bore the brunt of it.

So when I saw Potter for the first time in over a year, and he hadn't so much as looked at me, I knew I had to do something. I didn't know what, but I was angry and frustrated, and I didn't even know what was going on or why he was here. He'd abandoned everyone for so long that help from him was almost laughable.

Then the Dark Lord's booming voice came over the castle, and he said no more people would be hurt if we gave up Harry Potter. It seemed simple to me; no more of my friends would die because of him and it would allow me to have my revenge at last.

I raised my shaking arm, slightly unsure of what I was about to do, and screamed. "But he's there! Potter's _there_! Someone grab him!"

There was a loud noise as the Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws stood in front of him, defending him, but I didn't care about any of them. I cared about the fact that Potter seemed to notice me, remember who I was and, perhaps, what I meant to him. I imagined all the thoughts going through his mind, and I hoped that he would remember our times together.

Maybe he would even understand why I was trying to hand him over. Surely he had to understand that I didn't want anyone else I cared about dying due to him, and after what he'd done to me, I couldn't really let him get away with it. I wanted him to feel guilty for not saying goodbye, but the look on his face changed from one of confusion to one of anger, and I started to think I'd made all our times together up.

I hadn't, I knew I hadn't. Nobody could fuck like bunnies like we could. Nobody could switch from having hard, rough sex to making love in the blink of an eye like we were able to do. What we had together, it was real, and I wasn't mad, and I certainly knew he hadn't gotten any of it from the Weasley girl.

So it made no sense to me that he hadn't said goodbye to me, that he hadn't told me he'd miss me or hope that I'd be okay. I didn't understand why he never explained he was going away in the first place. That boy, he was a mystery, but a mystery I hoped would be punished for what he did to me. I may have fallen for a Gryffindor, but I was still a Slytherin.

Then Professor McGonagall spoke, and I gulped as I saw the hotness in Potter's eyes.

"Thank you, Miss Parkinson." She said in a clipped voice; she'd never cared for me. "You will leave the hall first with Mr Filch. If the rest of your house could follow."

And so I did. I left the hall, tearing my eyes away from the face I'd loved, hated and cried over. I knew, in my heart of hearts, that this would be the last time I'd see him, but I still hoped for that goodbye. I wouldn't get one, I knew that, but perhaps now I could have my closure. Perhaps now I would be able to move on.

I was stuck in limbo before, not even knowing where he was. Whether he lived or died tonight, I would know it was at Hogwarts, there with the person he and everyone else believed he loved.

Potter never loved Weasley. I knew that. He can deny it all he wants, but he loved me, and that's something I'll never forget.

The great Harry Potter loved _me_.


End file.
